Just An Observation

I currently work for a very large International Corporation. My job is to talk to people on the phone, all day, and help them with whatever they seem to be having a problem with regarding our product. I love my job. I really do. It's interesting stuff that I do. I talk to people from all over North America all...day...long. In the short time that I've been doing this I've learned a great deal about the attitudes of the people that live in various parts of the country. My observations,thus far, are as follows:

1. Most people in Canada are assholes. I don't really know why they are or what their problem is
but they are assholes. They've just got a really bad attitude for some reason. They even hate
themselves. Some parts of Canada hate other people in other parts of Canada. I guess it's a
French thing, I don't know.
My advice to you assholes in Canada...get over yourself!

2. The Assholishness of the people in Canada pales in comparison to the Assholes in the
Northeastern States of America. You know, places like New York, New Jersey,
Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Connecticut...all that shit. These Motherfuckers have
serious issues. I mean damn! They are just pissed off at the World! I think they wake up
pissed off, spend the whole day pissed off, go to bed pissed off and then do it again the next
day. Man, it must suck to be you. Have you ever considered moving?
My advice to you assholes in the Northeast...don't ever come around here with that attitude
'cause I promise you somebody will beat the shit out of you real quick. Pay attention.

3. Now. On to to Michigan. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you think you're special
because you live in Michigan? Do you think the World owes you something because you live in
Michigan? Apparently you think you're better than everybody else because you live in
Michigan. Well, think again...Motherfucker. You're just a bunch of spoiled-assed brats that
inherited a bunch of money from your dead parents. I'm sorry for your loss but don't expect
the rest of the World to wipe your ass for you. Okay?
My advice to you Motherfuckers is...grow the fuck up.

4. And then we move on to California. Now I know that California is supposed to be all laid back
and cool and mellow and shit, but from what I can tell I sense a lot of tension in your voices.
You're not rude or angry or any of that shit...you're just, stressed. I'm worried about you.
Really. I understand that you have to move faster and do more because you're in "California",
but, seriously, you need to just relax a little bit.
My advice to you guys...'Don't forget to breathe'.

5. As for the rest of the Country, well...you're pretty much okay. Some of you are really cool and
some of you suck. That's okay. That's as it should be. Some of you amaze me in the fact that
you're able to even use a telephone. How you managed to even get your shit together enough
to go to a store and purchase one of our devices speaks volumes about your tenacity. Some of
you are really just too stupid to live. That's okay. We'll let you do that. Some of you are pretty
cool. That's cool too. We'll let you do that.
My advice to you guys...just keep on being you.

In summation: Canada...Fuck You! Northeast...Fuck You harder!! Michigan...Eat shit and die.
California...relax dudes. The rest of the Country...Good Luck!

Peace.